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Dear Dabby – My Husband is Choosing Marijuana over Our Marriage, What Should I Do?

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Relationship advice from the cosmic cannabis plant

Dear Dabby: “My husband is choosing marijuana over our marriage”

“Dear Abby” is a column in the New York Post where people send in their relational problems and ask Abby – Abigail Van Buren aka Jeanne Phillips – for help. “Abby” provides common sense responses meant to help the women in question.

While I don’t read “Dear Abby” myself, I do have an alert for anything cannabis-related on the internet and this time around Abby got a concerned letter from someone who referred to themselves as “Anti-Drug”.

To be fair, I actually found myself wholeheartedly with Abby on her response to the woman’s request and decided to expand on it on a section called “Dear Dabby” – where a red-eyed ganja plant answers relational questions.

But first…how about some context.

Dear Abby’s original question…

I have been with my husband for seven years, and I’m tired of having the same fight every day. He smokes marijuana, and I hate it. It has been a constant battle for years. We tried therapy, which helped for a while, but he goes back to smoking behind my back. We tried to reach a compromise that he smoke only after a certain time of day, but it still leads to fights.

He shuts me out when he’s doing drugs and says I don’t care about his happiness because it’s something he enjoys, that I am taking it away. I love him so much, but I hate drugs and don’t like who he becomes when he’s smoking.

I want to have a baby, but I am uncomfortable with drugs being in the house. I feel like I can’t trust him to be alone with a baby when he’s high. I don’t want to leave him, but I can’t take it anymore. Having the same fight every day is exhausting, and it’s had a really negative impact on our marriage. I want him to choose me over this, but if I give him an ultimatum, he’ll hate me. What do I do? — ANTI-DRUG IN ILLINOIS – SOURCE

In essence, “Anti-Drug” is in a relationship where one person consumes cannabis while the other is fervently against it…even to the point of self-identifying as “anti-drug” ironically slurping down a Starbucks coffee. Okay, maybe she’s not slurping coffee, but I’m almost certain that come Pumpkin Spice season, she’s in line for her “fix”.

But I digress.

According to her plight, they have been “at it” for years and have already tried therapy, compromises, etc. At the end of the day it’s a battle of ideology and I’ll expand on that later as “Dabby”, but first – let’s see what Abby had to say.

Give your husband that ultimatum and pack your bags. If you prefer the father of your child not have a marijuana habit and he cannot quit, then, as much as you may love him, this person isn’t The One for you. Sorry. – Abby, NY Post

Abby is correct. In the case of “Anti-Drug”, there is no point in trying to force someone to do something they don’t want to do. If they want to keep on smoking weed, it’s not that they “choose” the substance over you, it’s because you made them choose – you’re creating conditions.

And this is perfectly okay for any type of relationship. There are “deal breakers” in relationships and it’s these “deal breakers” that establish the norms of the relationship. Without these boundaries – you can’t really call yourself a “couple” because you haven’t committed to the expectations of the relationship.

Having said that, as Abby mentions – the husband is probably going to stick with weed. And I’ll tell you why…but as… DABBY!

lighter noises

long steady inhalation

cough cough

Dear Anti Drug (It’s Dabby here!)

While I wholeheartedly agree with Abby in terms of your relationship being over, there’s a lot of room for growth available as a result of your impending break up. You see, I have written extensively about cannabis relationships in the past and if there is one thing that I have seen time and time again, it’s that when there is a fundamental disagreement between cannabis use and abstention – there’s always conflict.

Usually the source of conflict is the “non-user” as I’m sure your husband mellows out when he smokes cannabis and only acts weird or defensive when confronted by his use.

This isn’t to say that you aren’t entitled to a “drug free environment”, it’s simply pitting your ideological stance against that of your “love” for this man. You see, there are elements of the person you like, but you failed to accept them for who they are and prefer a version of them that they might not want to be. They now feel “conditioned” to live according to your expectation and when that happens, the relationship takes a hit because one is right whereas the other is wrong.

Unless you are able to accept your husband for who he is, with his cannabis smoking and all, and learn to trust him around kids – then you can save your relationship. However, that will also mean that you have to give up something – your views on cannabis and drugs in general.

I don’t fault you for your position on drugs. Perhaps your family raised you in a home where you believe all drugs are bad (except the pharmaceuticals) or perhaps you had a bad experience with it. Irrespective, it seems that your mind is pretty much made up on the idea of drugs and as a result, you have already given your husband his ultimatum.

Your husband had already responded too, which means now the ball is once again in your court. Do you love him more than you hate drugs? Or is the mere thought of him being high repulse you so much that you’ll never be fully open to be with him in a way that a nurturing relationship works?

These are the tough questions you’re going to have to ask yourself over the next few weeks and while I know that you won’t read this article – I also speak to other people who are in a relationship where one person wants you to give up smoking. If you don’t want to, if you truly don’t think it’s wrong – don’t give up your habit.

If the person is more important than your habitual smoking, then you may give it a try, however, it rarely works to censor yourself for someone else. It simply means that the person cannot accept you for who you are and needs a condition to be with you.

If there is a condition to be with someone, then there is no real love. Of course, we need to respect each other, make space for each other, and try to accommodate ourselves to make the other person feel heard and loved – but the moment we start drawing lines in the sand we lose the glue of a relationship.

Therefore, “anti-drug”, I’d highly recommend you reexamine your views on drugs in general. They don’t “change” people as much as you think. Non-cannabis smokers often associate the “high” with being drunk, when it’s completely on opposite spectrums.

Nonetheless, you are entitled to your beliefs and for your next relationship, find someone who love doing a “deal breaker” in your relationship.

Establish your boundaries, respect yourself – and if someone places conditions for their love…then they don’t really love you but the thought of you…

Source: https://cannabis.net/blog/opinion/dear-dabby-my-husband-is-choosing-marijuana-over-our-marriage-what-should-i-do

Cyber Crime

Telangana Doctors Lose Nearly ₹30 Crore to Cyber Fraud Since September 2024

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Cybercriminals have defrauded doctors across Telangana of nearly ₹30 crore since September 2024, prompting authorities to strengthen awareness campaigns and cybersecurity education within the healthcare sector.

The alarming figures were revealed during a cyber awareness programme organized by the Telangana Cyber Security Bureau (TGCSB) in Hyderabad. Senior officials warned that healthcare professionals are increasingly becoming targets of sophisticated online scams despite their educational and professional backgrounds.

Healthcare Professionals Under Growing Cyber Threat

Addressing representatives from various medical associations, TGCSB Director Shikha Goel highlighted the rising number of cybercrime incidents involving doctors and healthcare workers. She emphasized that cybercriminals are exploiting digital platforms to target individuals across all professions, including highly qualified medical practitioners.

Officials stressed that vigilance, awareness, and prompt reporting remain the strongest defenses against cyber fraud. The event focused on strengthening cooperation between law enforcement agencies and the medical fraternity to improve preparedness against evolving cyber threats.

More than 70 office-bearers from medical organizations across Telangana attended the session, including presidents, secretaries, treasurers, and senior representatives.

Investment Scams Responsible for Major Financial Losses

According to TGCSB data, at least 735 doctors have reported cybercrime-related incidents since September 2024, with total losses reaching approximately ₹29.88 crore.

Business and investment fraud emerged as the most damaging category, accounting for losses of ₹22.39 crore involving 127 victims. Investigators noted that fraudsters often lure professionals with promises of high returns, fake investment opportunities, and deceptive business schemes.

Authorities also reported a wide range of other cyber offences affecting doctors, including digital arrest scams, identity theft, impersonation fraud, fake advertisements, job-related scams, insurance fraud, cryptocurrency fraud, UPI-related cheating, matrimonial scams, and sextortion cases.

Authorities Stress Importance of Rapid Reporting

The Telangana Cyber Security Bureau urged victims to report cybercrime incidents immediately, especially during the critical “golden hour” after a fraudulent transaction occurs.

Officials explained that timely complaints through the national cybercrime helpline 1930 and the official cybercrime reporting portal can significantly improve the chances of freezing suspicious transactions and recovering stolen funds.

The bureau further warned that cybercriminals are employing increasingly advanced techniques to deceive victims, making awareness and quick action more important than ever.

Medical Associations Join Awareness Drive

Representatives from associations of paediatricians, cardiologists, dentists, orthopaedic surgeons, gynaecologists, and hospital administrators participated in the discussions. The groups pledged to work closely with authorities to spread cybersecurity awareness through hospitals, clinics, medical conferences, and professional training programmes.

Officials believe that expanding cyber awareness among healthcare professionals will play a key role in reducing financial fraud and strengthening digital security across the state’s medical community.

As cyber threats continue to evolve, law enforcement agencies are encouraging doctors and other professionals to remain cautious when responding to investment offers, unknown communications, and requests for sensitive financial information online.

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Education News

AIIMS Gorakhpur Reservation Controversy: FIR Alleges Fake OBC Certificate Used Despite ₹80 Lakh Income

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A major controversy has emerged at AIIMS Gorakhpur after allegations surfaced that reservation benefits were misused to secure a postgraduate medical seat. A criminal case has been registered against former AIIMS Gorakhpur Executive Director Dr. G.K. Pal and his son, Dr. Oro Prakash Pal, over the alleged use of a forged Other Backward Class (OBC) Non-Creamy Layer certificate for admission to an MD course.

The case has triggered widespread debate within medical and administrative circles, raising serious questions about transparency and oversight in admissions to premier medical institutions.

FIR Filed on Court’s Direction

The First Information Report (FIR) was registered at the AIIMS police station following directions from Chief Judicial Magistrate Tvishi Srivastava. According to the complaint, the alleged offence took place on August 30, 2024, when forged documents were purportedly used to obtain an MD seat under the OBC reservation quota.

Sources indicate that the matter was subsequently brought to the attention of the Union Ministry of Health, prompting internal reviews and administrative action.

Alleged Income Far Above Eligibility Threshold

Central to the allegations is the claim that Dr. G.K. Pal and his wife Parvati Pal have a combined annual income exceeding ₹80 lakh. Under existing reservation rules, families with such income levels are not eligible for OBC Non-Creamy Layer benefits.

Following the emergence of the controversy, Dr. Pal was first removed from his position at AIIMS Gorakhpur and later relieved of responsibilities at AIIMS Patna. He is currently posted at JIPMER Puducherry. With the registration of the FIR, officials suggest that further legal and departmental action may follow, depending on the outcome of the investigation.

Complaint Highlights Systemic Concerns

The complaint was filed by Ashutosh Kumar Mishra, a resident of Divyanagar in the Cantonment area. He alleged that the events related to the case occurred between January and September 2024. The complainant argued that misuse of reservation provisions by individuals in senior positions undermines the integrity of public institutions and erodes trust in the medical education system.

The case has reignited concerns over whether verification mechanisms for reservation certificates are robust enough, particularly in high-stakes admissions.

Impact on Medical Community

The allegations have sent shockwaves through the medical fraternity. Experts believe that if the claims are substantiated, the case could prompt a broader review of admission procedures and lead to stricter scrutiny of category certificates across institutions like AIIMS.

Authorities have stated that all relevant documents will be carefully examined before taking further steps. The outcome of the investigation is expected to have far-reaching implications for accountability and compliance in medical admissions.

Questions Await Answers

As the probe continues, several key issues remain unresolved: whether reservation norms were deliberately violated, how verification processes failed, and whether similar cases may surface in the future. For now, the focus remains on the investigation and its potential consequences.

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Business

New Mexico cannabis operator fined, loses license for alleged BioTrack fraud

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New Mexico regulators fined a cannabis operator nearly $300,000 and revoked its license after the company allegedly created fake reports in the state’s traceability software.

The New Mexico Cannabis Control Division (CCD) accused marijuana manufacturer and retailer Golden Roots of 11 violations, according to Albuquerque Business First.

Golden Roots operates the The Cannabis Revolution Dispensary.

The majority of the violations are related to the Albuquerque company’s improper use of BioTrack, which has been New Mexico’s track-and-trace vendor since 2015.

The CCD alleges Golden Roots reported marijuana production only two months after it had received its vertically integrated license, according to Albuquerque Business First.

Because cannabis takes longer than two months to be cultivated, the CCD was suspicious of the report.

After inspecting the company’s premises, the CCD alleged Golden Roots reported cultivation, transportation and sales in BioTrack but wasn’t able to provide officers who inspected the site evidence that the operator was cultivating cannabis.

In April, the CCD revoked Golden Roots’ license and issued a $10,000 fine, according to the news outlet.

The company requested a hearing, which the regulator scheduled for Sept. 1.

At the hearing, the CCD testified that the company’s dried-cannabis weights in BioTrack were suspicious because they didn’t seem to accurately reflect how much weight marijuana loses as it dries.

Company employees also poorly accounted for why they were making adjustments in the system of up to 24 pounds of cannabis, making comments such as “bad” or “mistake” in the software, Albuquerque Business First reported.

Golden Roots was fined $298,972.05 – the amount regulators allege the company made selling products that weren’t properly accounted for in BioTrack.

The CCD has been cracking down on cannabis operators accused of selling products procured from out-of-state or not grown legally:

Golden Roots was the first alleged rulebreaker in New Mexico to be asked to pay a large fine.

Source: https://mjbizdaily.com/new-mexico-cannabis-operator-fined-loses-license-for-alleged-biotrack-fraud/

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